How To Be A Restaurant Owner… And Not Be An A-Hole

(And Why Your Staff’s Happiness Is Your Bottom Line)

This month on one of my high-level coaching groups for restaurant owners that I mentor, we got into a heated discussion about staff.

“My employees don’t care,” one owner complained. “They show up late, they’re rude to customers, they don’t follow directions and then they quit without notice.”

“How do you treat them?” the group asked.

Long pause.

“I mean… I pay them.”

And there it was. The problem in three words.

Look, I get it. You’re stressed. You’re working 80-hour weeks. You’ve got suppliers breathing down your neck, customers complaining about everything, and a bank account that keeps you awake at night.

But here’s what I learned after 25 years in this business: your staff’s attitude will make or break you. Period.

I used to tell my managers, “Your attitude shapes your employees’ attitude, which determines how much money we make tonight.” (Go ahead and steal that one, it helps.)

It’s not just feel-good nonsense. It’s math.

Want proof?

One restaurant owner in our group went from $500,000 in annual sales to $2.5 million. His secret wasn’t a new menu or fancy marketing. It was treating his staff like human beings instead of replaceable parts.

The Three Ways to Stop Being an A-hole (And Start Making More Money)

1. Manage Like a Professional, Not a Dictator

Here’s what tyrant restaurant owners do: they manage through personal attacks.

“You’re lazy.” “You’re stupid.” “You don’t care about this job.” “You’ll never amount to anything.”

Sound familiar? Maybe you don’t say it out loud, but your staff can feel it.

Here’s what smart restaurant owners do: they keep it professional and focus on behavior, not character.

Instead of “You’re lazy,” try “I need you to move faster during the dinner rush.”

Instead of “You’re stupid,” try “Let me show you the right way to do this.”

Instead of “You don’t care,” try “I need to see more energy when you’re talking to customers.”

The difference? One approach destroys people. The other builds them up.

And then TRAIN, TRAIN and then do so more TRAINING!

My most successful restaurant owner friend never, ever makes it personal.

He focuses on what needs to change, not what’s wrong with the person. His turnover rate? About 2% of the industry average.

2. Give a Damn About Them as People

This is where most restaurant owners fail spectacularly. They think paying someone minimum wage means they own them for eight hours a day.

Wrong.

The restaurant owner who went from $500K to $2.5 million?

He knows his employees’ kids’ names.

He asks about their sick parents.

When someone’s car breaks down, he helps them figure out transportation.

He set up a 401(k) plan when he didn’t have to.

“But that’s expensive,” you’re thinking.

You know what’s more expensive? Training new employees every three months because you can’t keep anyone.

Here’s what caring about your staff actually looks like:

• Ask how they’re doing (and actually listen to the answer)
• Remember important things happening in their lives
• Help them solve problems when you can
• Treat them like adults, not children
• Give them opportunities to grow

One server told me, “I’ve worked at a lot of restaurants, but this is the first place where the owner knows I’m taking night classes. He even adjusts my schedule around my exams.”

Guess where she’s still working two years later?

3. Keep Your Restaurant Busy (So They Can Actually Make Money)

Here’s the brutal truth: your staff can’t pay their rent on good vibes and team spirit. They need hours. They need tips. They need steady income.

When your restaurant is dead, everyone suffers. Servers go home with $30 in tips. Kitchen staff get sent home early. Nobody’s happy, and nobody’s making money.

But when your restaurant is packed? Magic happens. Servers make great tips. Kitchen staff get full shifts. Everyone’s energy is higher because everyone’s making money.

And it’s a lot more FUN working at a busy place!

That’s why keeping your restaurant busy isn’t just about your bottom line. It’s about your staff’s bottom line too.

So how do you keep the place packed, especially during slow months like January?

This is where most restaurant owners screw up. They panic and start slashing prices. “50% off everything!” “Buy one, get one free!”

Congratulations. You just trained your customers to only visit when you’re practically giving food away.

Smart restaurant owners use psychology, not discounts.

Take the DFY Red Envelope Promotion. In December, when you’re already busy, you hand out sealed red envelopes to every customer. Each envelope contains a prize and is stamped “No Peeking – Open in January.”

Why does this work? Because people can’t resist curiosity. They have to know what they won. So they come back in January – traditionally the deadest month for restaurants – and your staff gets busy shifts instead of getting sent home.

That smart restaurant owner that went from $500k to $2.5 million ya he does it every year. His staff went from dreading January to fighting for shifts. They think he’s a genius.

But it’s not just about one promotion. You need consistent marketing that keeps customers coming back. Email campaigns. Social media that actually engages people. Monthly events that give customers a reason to visit.

When your restaurant is busy, your staff is happy. When your staff is happy, they treat customers better. When customers are treated better, they come back more often and spend more money.

It’s a beautiful cycle that starts with you not being an a-hole.

The Bottom Line (And It Really Is About the Bottom Line)

Here’s what the successful restaurant owners in my coaching group understand: happy employees aren’t a luxury. They’re a necessity.

When you treat your staff well, they stick around longer. They care more. They represent your restaurant better. They make your customers happier.

And happy customers spend more money.

The restaurant owner who went from $500K to $2.5 million didn’t do it by cutting labor costs or treating employees like garbage. He did it by creating an environment where people actually wanted to work.

Wouldn’t it be nice to say as a successful restaurant ower:

“My staff sells for me”. “When they’re happy, they recommend appetizers. They upsell desserts. They make customers feel welcome. I don’t have to train them to do that – they just do it naturally when they’re not miserable.”

Your staff is the face of your business. They’re the ones talking to your customers, handling your food, creating the experience that makes people want to come back.

You can have the best food in town, but if your staff is miserable, your customers will feel it. And they’ll go somewhere else.

So stop being an a-hole. Start treating your people like people. Keep your restaurant busy so everyone makes money.

Your staff will thank you. Your customers will thank you. And your bank account will definitely thank you.

Ready to see how to keep your restaurant packed during the slow months? The DFY Red Envelope promotion has helped over 5k+ restaurant owners turn January from their worst month into one of their best. Your staff will love you for it.